For The Pun of It

I found this list of puns as a post of a co-blogger,  http://curmudgeon-at-large.com/ on my other WordPress blog and I had to share them. (I love puns – the groanier, the better!)

Lexophilia

Who on earth dreams up bad puns (are there any other kind)? Why, a Lexophile of course.

bear pun

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typO.
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
When chemists die, they barium.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Velcro – what a rip off!
Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

 

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About jeneanecommonplacebook

What Is a Commonplace Book? A commonplace book is someone’s personal collection of quotes, witticisms, observances, poems, and even graffiti that have inspired them, made them laugh or touched them in some way. Many famous people throughout history have had commonplace books, such as Thomas Jefferson, John Milton, Mark Twain, Henry David Thoreau, and the scientist, Carl Linnaeus. I began my commonplace books while I was in junior high school in the early 1970’s and so I have almost 50 years of quotes about such a wide variety of topics told in ways more eloquent, wise or humorous than anything I could ever come up with. And it’s wonderful that in this type of blog, I can also include some of my favorite artists and their artwork as well. I'm almost 60 years old with a daughter, 3 granddaughters, and a kitty-cat. I live in beautiful Bay City, MI. I have 2 associate degrees with additional college credits and hopefully I will be able to complete my goal of obtaining my Bachelor's Degree in Accounting. (Life keeps getting in the way). I enjoy literature, horse racing, baseball, NFL football, The Olympics, astronomy, history (particularly Irish), art, old movies, Downton Abbey, The Good Wife, Unit One, science, The Beatles, Frank Sinatra, U2, The Doors, oh and so much more! I have very eclectic and prolific interests. If you would like to check out my personal writings, please go to jeneanebehmeswritings.wordpress.com
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