How To Tell When You’re Growing Older

Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.

You get winded playing chess

You’re still chasing women but you can’t remember why.

You look forward to a dull evening.

You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.

Your knees buckle but your belt won’t.

Dialing long distance wears you out.

Your back goes out more than you do.

Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up whenever you watch a pretty girl go by.

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.