The Perfect Husband
He tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hipstick.
Crossing The Border
Senescence begins and middle age ends the day your descendents outnumber your friends.
I test my bath before I sit, and I’m always moved to wonderment. That what chills the finger not a bit is so frigid upon the fundament.
Here is a dream. It is my dream, my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.
I do, I Will, I Have
Just as I am unsure of the difference between flora and fauna and flotsam and jetsam, I am quite sure that marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgetsam.
And he refuses to believe there is a leak in the water pipe or the gas pipe and she is convinced she is about to asphyxiate or drown.
As she says, Quick, get up and get my hairbrushes off the window sill, it’s raining in, and he replies, Oh, they’re all right, it’s only raining straight down.
That is why marriage is so much more interesting than divorce. Because it’s the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.
So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat over everything debatable and combatable. Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.